Sunday, 22 September 2013

Don't Cry Because it's Over

Don't Cry Because it's Over

    I once became enticed by the seemingly endless promises of a hopeless dream, a chimera that perhaps one day my life would transform itself into a glittering fairy-tale. 

It's hard to shake a dream like that! A fantasy that had at one time held so much promise, an affirmation of ecstasy for my future! I clasped this trance and held onto it with a white-knuckled grip! Yet, caught in the hub of reality, I began to watch as this dream shattered into millions of pieces, each asymmetrical fragment glimmering with every sublime promise that had at one time resided within it. A raging storm had swooped in and destroyed it all, very like a viscous catapult... that storm had been called "reality".

         I sat back and watched as these countless dreams began to suffocate! Ah! And how they suffocated... dispersing as well with the very heart of all of my wildest fantasies and aspirations. They all diminished, diminished into a rich velvety night sky! A sky of which all color had been stolen, no diamond-like stars to adorn it... my future seemed to have become nothing but a haven of ruins. 

             But, had it really? Just what were all of these dashed hopes that I had once possessed? Would they even have made me happy? Perhaps, it had all been a false illusion, a blurred perspective of life that I had supposedly had "nothing", when in reality I may have had everything all along. Maybe the fairy-tales ought to be blamed for this false illusion of poverty. I'd become too consumed in a blazing desire for that prince charming that would come and save me.

I suppose it was with this foolish distraction, however, that I'd lose sight of the prince charming standing before me. A poor and simple guy, the happiness he'd brought to me relevant to a hilltop of emeralds and rubies that any prince could have to offer!

 Do you think that maybe, just maybe... I never really realized that I was already in the midst of a blossoming fairy-tale? Perhaps I'd become too tangled up in the web of my brilliant desires for the gilded glamour that this life may have to offer. Perhaps, I was too busy longing for that Cinderella-story that all of us girl's begin to yearn for during the most premature years of our lives!

All ambitions credited solely to Brother's Grimm and all of those authors of hopeless whimsies. Blinded by these intense desires, I began to ignore the many blessings in life that I did have. You know, the ones that even the greatest sums of money can't buy?

                  I don't think I had ever been clearly aware of the true value of that dear, dear "prince charming". That dream guy of mine that I had, in fact, had already in my life! A prince charming disguised in rags, his greatest possessions residing in the center of his largest of hearts. Probably one of the most valuable things in life that I could ever be proud of having! Unfortunately, however... it takes the piercing screech of loneliness for one to finally grasp the irreplaceable worth of lost loves! 

And now that you're gone, I'm left behind  with the painful reality of your absence. Losing you was like being robbed of all of my joy and happiness. My smile is not the same without you, my darling, and waking up with the knowledge that you are no longer in my life... that's probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to endure!

But why, why did things have to come to this? Why did it take the turning point of my finding myself consumed in a realm of inescapable emptiness in order for me to finally grasp the value of how worthwhile a place you'd once held in my heart? 

It is very like being forced to suffer the blistering coldness of winter before finally realizing the value of those tangerine-skied summers you'd left behind!

                 In some ways, I wish I never met you... that way, I wouldn't have to hurt so bad as I am forced to face the pain of life plagued without you! But in another way, I can't help but thank the Heavens above for all of those precious moments spent with you. At least now, I'll have the memories we'd shared, bittersweet reminders of what once was to, in my latter years look back upon and cherish!

But then, at times, I can't deny that those memories can pierce rather mercilessly! Each and every single one acting as nothing more than a brutally painful reminder of that of which I had once had but lost. Sometimes I'd like to thrust every reminder of you like a sheet of glass onto a hardwood floor, watch it shatter, happy that I should never have to face those wicked reminders ever again! I know, however, that I'll never be able to forget you or let you go! And even if I did destroy all of the memories I have left of you, it'd only be a matter of seconds before I'd endeavor to paste them back together again.

But, now, the time has come for me to realize the facts, that the chapter with you in my life has reached its bitter end. The fact that, memories of you are the only souvenirs I have left of you. And although those precious moments with you may have ended seemingly far too prematurely, I know that I must now face your absence. 

             And, though it will require a lot of courage, I know I'll make it through it. Yes, I think that I've finally excepted the fact that although I'll miss you forever, I'll have to go on with my life. So, goodbye, my darling, and again... thank you for the memories! 

And here, I'll wait for the sun to come out again without you. I know that it'll never shine the same, but that's life... the chapter has ended. It'll be like tasting fragments of the sweetness that having you in my life had once brought, looking back on all of the memories we shared. 

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"~ Dr. Suess

Have a beautiful night, Beauty Queens! xoxo

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